Siblings

     As you may have noticed by reading some of my other posts on this blog, I have spent time with both my mom's side and my dad's side of the family. What I've noticed on both sides is the relationships between adult siblings are either great or terrible. My aunt, for example is a wonderful example of an adult who has a great relationship with her siblings with whom she has grown up. She talks to them on the phone, takes their  kids out, and still remains close even though she doesn't live in the same area as them. It just seems so shocking and unreal to me that some people could just stop all contact with a person or people whom they have grown up with, their own family, for absolutely no reason, except time apart.

     I have a younger brother, and we always don't get along now. Honestly, he just gets on my nerves most of the time. But, I know that one day, when we are both more mature,  we will come to appreciate each other. I'm promising myself that I will be like my aunt, and will have a relationship with him, even after we both move, have families, and take different paths in life. After all, we are growing up together, we are family,  how could I just forget him?

Can't Help Falling in Love

     It all started when I was riding home from Washington, D.C. with a friend. She had her i-pod on shuffle and the the song "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley came on. I didn't know the name of the song, or the artist, but in immediately fell in love with it. I asked my friend for the name of the song, and she gave it to me, but I forgot it.
     
    A few weeks later,  I was at a party for a family friend, and there was another party next door to us. They had a DJ, and he announced the next song. The first few notes started to hum out of the speaker, and my head immediately shot up. It was the song I had heard in the car! This time I wrote the name down and listened to it over and over again. It was the type of song that you love so much that it never leaves your mind, but you don't care because you'll never get sick of it.
     
     This song launched a love of Elvis and many older artists for me. I listened to many of Elvis' other songs, and am now a fan of his. Of course, I still love current music, but I feel like hearing this one song has opened up my music taste to something more than the songs of my generation.
     
      But my story has a serendipitous twist. I was in the car with my great uncle and cousins when I mentioned that I liked Elvis. He just stopped and looked at me through the rear view mirror. "No you don't!" he said, shocked. He then explained to me that my grandmother was absolutely obsessed with Elvis. She had been to his concerts and even fought a girl over a scarf that he threw into the crowd. He also mentioned that he remembers when my grandmother, his sister, told him about the song that I heard that day. He said she was so excited about it.
   
    Now, I know it's not uncommon for a teenage girl in the late 50s and early 60s to love Elvis, but everyone says that I look exactly like my grandmother. At a recent family party, we passed around her wedding album, and even my mother's side of the family agreed that I am a spitting image of her. Sadly, she passed away before I was born, but I think we would've gotten along very well. It's nice to know that we have a connection, though. This whole situation has really made me believe in fate, I almost lost the song, but I went to that party, and it found me.

This is the song:

Use Your Words

      Usually, one of the first thing I notice about a person during a conversation is how well they speak. Now, lets face it, we all aren't going to speak with perfect grammar all the time, and especially not around friends. But when you are in a professional setting, like an interview, or talking to a teacher, it's only proper to talk like an educated person.
   Your voice is one of the most powerful things you possess. This quote from Maya Angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings explains this perfectly."Language is man's way of communicating with his fellow man and it is language alone that separates him from the lower animals." Some people don't have the priviledge of Feedom of Speech, and some can't even speak at all.  So, use your words, use them correctly and creatively. Say what you feel, and make a difference.

                       

Thanksgiving 2011

Thanksgiving is this Thursday--I can't believe it. I usually eat at my grandparent's house, where everyone on my mom's side of the family congregates to eat, talk, and catch up. My grandparents make the best food and I usually go home stuffed. But unfortunately, my grandparents have retired and they are vacationing in Key West, soaking up the sun. This leaves me with no good food for Thanksgiving.
    
     Now, my mom is left to cook Thanksgiving dinner this year. My mom isn't exactly the best cook in the world, so this Thanksgiving might not be the best ever. There's will be a quiet, low-key Thanksgiving, with my brother and little cousins running the streets until someone calls them in. Then they will sit down, shove food in their mouth and run back out and play on the streets again. Sounds lovely, right? But, this will be the last year for me to spend Thanksgiving with them because next year, my mom is making different plans.

    I do have another option though. My cousins from my Dad's side of the family are visiting Philadelphia from California. I love being around them and it will be great to spend the holiday with them. If I choose this option, I would be eating at my uncle's house, which is bound to have great food. But, the food is not as important as the company, and both sides are great in that aspect.

   I have to make my decision soon, because Thanksgiving is fast approaching. I know that wherever I go I will surrounded by a family who loves me.

Top Ten Things You Shouldn't Do On Facebook (or any social networking site)

   We live in a digital age. With all the positive things it provides, Social Networking, Facebook in particular, also has its share of negative attributes. But in the end, it all comes down to the quality and character of the person behind the computer, not the social networking site itself. I personally am not involved with Facebook because in my school, having an account there is a definite way to be involved in excess drama. Sometimes though, it is unavoidable to get caught up in it, Facebook or no Facebook. To keep the drama and stress out of your life, make sure you never do any of these ten things on Facebook, or any other Social Networking website, and remember, the web is what you make of it. 


10. Do not brag. 

Whether it's about getting a high grade on a test, your new clothes you bought at the mall, or that vacation you just took, just don't do it. If you want to share about the good things going on your life, tell your close friends, not the whole world.

9. Don't spend ALL your time on Facebook.

This only leads to obsession, and will make you depressed. Like I mentioned in number ten, many people brag and seeing how "great" their life is will just make you feel bad about your own. 

8. Don't have a whole conversation with someone publicly.

If you are using Facebook, privately message, or if you are using Twitter, direct message the person you would like to talk to. No one needs to read the whole conversation you have with a friend, especially if you are talking about another person. (see number four)

7. Do not friend your teachers. 
This one kind of speaks for itself. If you have a Facebook page that is only for professional use, then you can request teachers, but if you have pictures of yourself partying and drinking, then sending out a friend request to a teacher probably isn't the best idea. 

6. Do not be friends with anyone on a social networking site that you are not friends with in real life.
If you would pass by a person on the street without saying hi, then you're obviously not friends with them, so why be friends with them on Facebook?

5. Think twice before digging up your past.
They say everything in life happens for a reason. Maybe things with you and this person you want to reconnect with ended for a reason, so why try to start up things that ended? Whether it's an ex-boyfriend, or a friend from your childhood, just think about if it's worth it before you contact people who left your life. 

4. Don't fight with anyone.
Like I said in number three: if you wouldn't say it to a person's face, then don't say it on Facebook. And if you would say it to their face, then do so instead of posting things on the Internet. 


3. Do not spread rumors/gossip/threaten anyone.
 Not only is this very mean, and speaks badly about your character, but it's on the Internet. This means anyone in the entire world can see it and it will be documented and saved for all time. If you wouldn't say it to the person's face, then don't say it on Facebook. 


2. Do not post sexually suggestive photos.
   Did you know that when applying for job, or for college, one of the things that they will look at is for Facebook page? Do you want the impression that they have of you to be a sexually suggestive photo? 

1. Do not make a versus page.
For those of you who don't know, a versus page is two pictures of two different people, and users are asked to comment and vote on who is the prettiest or hottest. This is just cruel. Think about how this makes the "loser" feel. NO ONE should make one of these.


Follow these tips to have a healthy, safe and stress-free relationship with Facebook. For more information about this topic click click here. 

Name Change

      I've been begging my mother for years to let me change my name from my father's to my mother's last name. Now, she's finally giving in. We received the directions to legally change it. The directions were very complicated, many steps seemed unnecessary and tedious, and it was agonizing to read them. When my mom called my aunt-who works at an attorney's office-she explained that it is a long, expensive, grueling process that involves tons of paperwork, my fingerprints being taken at my local police station and many more steps. Not only will the paperwork cost around three hundred and fifty dollars, I am also legally required to take out an advertisement in the newspaper announcing my name change, which will cost a large amount of money.
     Altogether, it will cost around eight hundred dollars. My mom has decided this will be my eighth grade graduation present and my fourteenth birthday present. Also, my mother and my father both have to sign permission forms. This last part is optional but if they don't sign, my mother, father and I will have to attend court which means my mom will have to pay for a lawyer, take off from work, etc.
      As if this isn't enough to make my head spin, I now have to worry about asking my father for his consent. We aren't very close and I haven't seen him in awhile. He still takes my little brother every other weekend but I have not had a relationship with him in about four or five years. I'm not sure about how he will react but my mother says he will most likely not go down without a fight.
         I've wanted to do this for so long and I'm even giving up a summer vacation to visit my cousins for this. My mom thinks it is a big deal, that it will change my life, and define my identity. But I think that it's simple; I'm closer with my mom and her family and I want to be an official part of that family, not only in person but on paper as well.
      I'm not close with my father or very close with his family, so why should I have their last name? I don't think this will be a topic that my father and I will agree on-so let the battle begin!

Why am I here??

   Recently, a teacher was interpreting an Edgar Allan Poe story to my class. He said "Life is full of experiences and emotions; love, joy, sadness, passion, jealousy, and eventually, death." This may sound depressing, but it taught me to make the most of my time here. In the end, the things that will matter most are the connections we have made, the accomplishments we have achieved, and the work we have done.
     As serious as I may seem, I am just your average teenager. I go to parties and sleepovers. I hang out with my friends. But at times, I stop and think about my purpose. Why am I here? What is my talent? I don't know how to answer those questions yet, but hopefully this blog will help me figure it out.

Also, I named this blog Complicated because even when everything is going smoothly and my life is problem-free, my thought are always swirling, making everything complicated. I hope it clearly defines this blog, because it's going to be very complicated to describe the topic of it. I'm planning on writing about a variety of different topics from music to fashion to my school life and home life and everything in between.